Spiritual Direction
What Is Spiritual Direction?
Spiritual direction is a ministry of listening, discernment and prayer in a confidential setting of encouragement and compassion. Through this ministry a directee engages with a spiritual companion who is trained to listen well to the stories of his or her life and help discern the presence, movement and work of God’s spirit.
William Barry defines spiritual direction as “help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God’s personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of the relationship.”
The underlying assumption in this ministry is that God is lovingly present and active in every aspect of our lives. God is working in and through our marriages and families, our work and working relationships, our leisure and our quiet times. God is there in our doubt as well as our certainty, in our weakness as well as our wholeness. The personal commitment of directees to the process is to be as honest as they can about their life and faith, and to be willing to trust in the transforming power of God’s love.
The gift of spiritual direction is a gift given by someone who is willing to hear how it really is with us, who believes and trusts that God is directing us from within our lives, and who reflects God’s own listening, loving presence in a direction session. The goal of spiritual direction is that those who enter into direction would continually grow closer to God and increasingly become more the persons God created them to be in Jesus Christ.
A Personal Illustration: Tom Eisenman
I used to live in the gold country in the California Sierras. During my time there I became very interested in recreational mining and gold panning. One of my gold buddies is a former Navy seal who has tremendous observation skills and a kind of second sense about where the gold lies. It was a great experience for me to work a stream with Bill, watching him gather the clues that would tell us where digging would be most productive. In Spiritual Direction, the director will often focus on revealing the beauty of the other person to themselves.
I think about the spiritual direction relationship in a similar way. Spiritual direction is like two miners looking for gold buried somewhere beneath the surface stream of a person’s life. The director and directee develop as they journey together greater skills of observation and spiritual intuition. The second sense about things in direction is the leading and guidance of the Holy Spirit in the process. The Holy Spirit is the real director in the relationship giving clues to both the spiritual director and the directee as to where it might be most productive to dig. In a direction session, the Lord shows us where we would spend our time most fruitfully. And the Lord also helps us to know when some lead is really nothing more than a dead end—when pursuing something will produce no gold, and a lead isn’t going to “pan out.” We count on the Holy Spirit to be our guide.
In a good and working relationship between a spiritual director and directee, discernment grows as they journey together in the Lord over time. Discernment is having the spiritual confidence to make a choice to go one way or another in a spiritual conversation. The director is trained and has also learned through many hours of practice to notice these God movements during a session and to follow the Spirit’s lead. The directee learns in time as well to notice and follow the nudges of God that lead to greater insight and meaning. A person can learn along the way how to better discern and follow what feels like light and smells like new life in the Lord. These become the veins of emotional gold you follow together in a direction session.
In the same way that searching for gold is careful, delicate work that requires the skills of observation and intuition, so is learning to listen well together for the movement of God in spiritual direction.
Common Questions About Direction
How do I prepare to meet a spiritual director?
Some directees bring specific issues they would like to process with their director. The topics for these persons may have grown out of prayer and journaling, or out of experiences they have had during the month that they would like to explore in more depth to try to discern what God may be saying to them through these circumstances. Any topic, experience, or relational issue or circumstance can be addressed during a spiritual direction session. The goal, though, will always be to discern the nature of the presence or movement of God in that experience, relational issue or circumstance.
Some directees come to a session with open hearts and open hands, just beginning somewhere as they check in with their director, and then seeing where God might lead them during the spiritual conversation. There is no “right” way to do this. Spiritual direction is very personal and individual, and it is all about what will best serve the directee on that particular day. A directee may come with a specific agenda on one day, and have no particular agenda the next session. The director’s role is to follow the lead of the directee under the guidance of God’s movement in any session.
What is the commitment of a directee to the process?
A directee will commit himself or herself to prayer between sessions in whatever way he or she best connects and communicates with God. The directee will have to believe that God is present in all aspects of life, because the goal of direction is to discern how God is present and what God’s presence and movement in life means for the directee. The directee needs to be committed to the idea that God is a God of love and is active in all of life to bring about good and loving ends in a person’s life.
How often do directees meet with their directors?
It is typical for directees to meet once a month on a regular basis with their director. There is no consideration for an end or typical duration to meet with a spiritual director. Spiritual direction is about a life long journey of exploration of one’s relationship with God. Therefore, the direction relationship is an ongoing expanding of awareness regarding one’s intimate relationship with their loving God, throughout their lifetime.
Is there a fee for the sessions?
Spiritual directors differ in what they charge for direction sessions. If you receive direction through With You Ministries, you will be asked to give on a sliding scale. With You Ministries asks directees for a donation of $50 to $95 per session, according both to what you can afford and how deeply you are helped in direction. Evangelical Covenant Pastors, staff, spouses, missionaries and other Covenant affiliated Christian leaders should talk with Pastor Eisenman about special arrangements. Grants for spiritual direction are also available to ordained or commissioned Covenant ministers through the Sustaining Pastoral Excellence program in the Covenant Church.
Spiritual Direction Ministry Endorsements, Pastor Tom Eisenman
James Osterhaus, PhD: Tom Eisenman has been a friend and colleague in ministry for nearly 25 years. His ministry of spiritual direction and formation is ideally suited to his personality and giftedness. He is a man who combines gentleness and compassion with firmness and keen insight into spiritual, as well as emotional and relational needs. I recommend him to those in ministry, those who contemplate ministry, and to ministry families. Dr. James Osterhaus, Author, Speaker, Senior Partner with TAG Consulting, and Internationally Recognized Expert in Communication, Conflict Management, and Organizational Dynamics of Faith Based Institutions
Matthew B. Hunt, PhD: I am fortunate to have been meeting with Tom Eisenman for spiritual direction over the last two and a half years. Tom is quite uniquely gifted in spiritual direction. He has been trained and certified in directing; and he actively participates in the practice, not only as a director but as a directee; he also meets on a regular basis with other practitioners in spiritual direction.
His currency is exceptional, but what makes Tom so different is the wonderful fusion of traits and training, experiences and knowledge, gifts and insights, that he carries with him into an encounter with another seeker. Sometimes it is Tom’s pastoral experience or training; sometimes, it is his wide range of reading; sometimes, it is his artistic side as a musician and writer; sometimes, it is his insights as a father and husband; it can even sometimes be his recollections from his days before knowing Christ; whatever perspective he brings, his sensitivity to the Spirit of God is unwavering.
Tom is blessed with a tender heart and a lifetime of keen observations to draw upon. So equipped, he comes to our meetings with an open mind; it is always clear to me that Tom’s priority is that God’s Spirit holds the reigns: the focus is always my continual growing awareness of the Lord in my life, and I am very often blessed by Tom’s gentle nudges to recognize God’s touch in my life. I often come away from our meetings feeling as though I am fitted with a new pair of glasses through which I will more clearly perceive the spiritual dimension in every aspect of my life. Matthew B. Hunt, Ph.D. Professor of English, Saddleback College, Mission Viejo, California
Susan Johnson, Executive Minister: I strongly recommend Tom as a spiritual director. He embodies the characteristics that make for a strong spiritual companion: deep understanding and familiarity with the scriptures, years of experience as a pastor in leading people to deepen their relationship with the Triune God, and sensitivity to the realities, complexities and mysteries present as we "work out our salvation." Tom is a gentle and patient guide. For me, Tom's gentle manner and personality is a great antidote to the sometimes pressured environment of church administration and the pace of my over-scheduled life. During our time together, I am struck by his attention to what is both seen and what is unseen, particularly his ability to listen to the Spirit while listening to me convey my thoughts. I personally enjoy spending time in quiet before the Lord, which Tom is willing to do with me, so that we are listening for the Lord together. I have also been blessed by his years of experience as a pastor and church leader; he intuitively "gets" church life and all the blessings and challenges it presents—I don't need to explain every nuance to him. If you are considering being in spiritual direction, or having a spiritual companion to join you in your journey of being transformed by the Father into the likeness of Christ, I highly recommend Tom Eisenman to you. Susan Johnson, Director of Ministry Services, Rolling Hills Covenant Church
Tic Long, Executive Pastor: So many times in ministry we are the ones listening to people, the ones moving from one thing to the next, finding ourselves focusing on others and not paying enough attention to our own souls, or at least that is what I do . I have found the Spiritual Direction process to be an Oasis. Tom Eisenman helped me go to a place of listening more intently to God than to the other voices, other people’s issues and needs. He was the one who listened deeply to me with no agenda other than my own spiritual health. His invitation to go ahead and be more selfish and talk about my life was so healing. He helped me be still and know…so many things. Tom became a spiritual friend to me who cared for me—the person—and did not want anything from me. He helped me to clarify and see more clearly the deeper moves of God in my life. What a gift! I think many of us in ministry need this gift more than we realize. Tic Long, Executive Director of Youth Specialties, and Executive Pastor of Journey Community Church, San Diego
Rev. Scott Buetzow, Covenant Pastor: One of the best gifts I can give my church is making sure I'm healthy as a pastor. Spiritual direction has been absolutely essential in my own vitality as I lead, teach, shepherd and care for those that God has in my care. As selfish as this may sound, I'm there simply for me - to be ministered to, to be invested in, to be poured into, and to be cared for. It often serves as a great barometer of the overall health of my heart and balance of my life.
Unless you're seriously overflowing and overwhelmed with the amount of supportive relationships around you, you need to do this. It’s a gift - you and those you pour your life into deserve it.
I tell my wife and staff that Tom Eisenman is "my own personal monk." He's a man who walks close with Jesus, he's a gifted listener, and has an incredible ability to speak from a place not ahead or behind me, but beside me. Somehow in the midst of the insane external chaos of ministry and the internal tapes that play in my head and heart—much like a tour guide—he gently points out where God is sprouting up in places, doing stuff and on the move right under my nose where I would have otherwise missed it. My spirit wants to jump in his lap (and at times, my whole body!) every time we're together because he oozes warmth, wisdom, humility and grace. Rev. Scott Buetzow, Associate Pastor, Community Covenant church, Rocklin, CA
Spiritual direction is a ministry of listening, discernment and prayer in a confidential setting of encouragement and compassion. Through this ministry a directee engages with a spiritual companion who is trained to listen well to the stories of his or her life and help discern the presence, movement and work of God’s spirit.
William Barry defines spiritual direction as “help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God’s personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of the relationship.”
The underlying assumption in this ministry is that God is lovingly present and active in every aspect of our lives. God is working in and through our marriages and families, our work and working relationships, our leisure and our quiet times. God is there in our doubt as well as our certainty, in our weakness as well as our wholeness. The personal commitment of directees to the process is to be as honest as they can about their life and faith, and to be willing to trust in the transforming power of God’s love.
The gift of spiritual direction is a gift given by someone who is willing to hear how it really is with us, who believes and trusts that God is directing us from within our lives, and who reflects God’s own listening, loving presence in a direction session. The goal of spiritual direction is that those who enter into direction would continually grow closer to God and increasingly become more the persons God created them to be in Jesus Christ.
A Personal Illustration: Tom Eisenman
I used to live in the gold country in the California Sierras. During my time there I became very interested in recreational mining and gold panning. One of my gold buddies is a former Navy seal who has tremendous observation skills and a kind of second sense about where the gold lies. It was a great experience for me to work a stream with Bill, watching him gather the clues that would tell us where digging would be most productive. In Spiritual Direction, the director will often focus on revealing the beauty of the other person to themselves.
I think about the spiritual direction relationship in a similar way. Spiritual direction is like two miners looking for gold buried somewhere beneath the surface stream of a person’s life. The director and directee develop as they journey together greater skills of observation and spiritual intuition. The second sense about things in direction is the leading and guidance of the Holy Spirit in the process. The Holy Spirit is the real director in the relationship giving clues to both the spiritual director and the directee as to where it might be most productive to dig. In a direction session, the Lord shows us where we would spend our time most fruitfully. And the Lord also helps us to know when some lead is really nothing more than a dead end—when pursuing something will produce no gold, and a lead isn’t going to “pan out.” We count on the Holy Spirit to be our guide.
In a good and working relationship between a spiritual director and directee, discernment grows as they journey together in the Lord over time. Discernment is having the spiritual confidence to make a choice to go one way or another in a spiritual conversation. The director is trained and has also learned through many hours of practice to notice these God movements during a session and to follow the Spirit’s lead. The directee learns in time as well to notice and follow the nudges of God that lead to greater insight and meaning. A person can learn along the way how to better discern and follow what feels like light and smells like new life in the Lord. These become the veins of emotional gold you follow together in a direction session.
In the same way that searching for gold is careful, delicate work that requires the skills of observation and intuition, so is learning to listen well together for the movement of God in spiritual direction.
Common Questions About Direction
How do I prepare to meet a spiritual director?
Some directees bring specific issues they would like to process with their director. The topics for these persons may have grown out of prayer and journaling, or out of experiences they have had during the month that they would like to explore in more depth to try to discern what God may be saying to them through these circumstances. Any topic, experience, or relational issue or circumstance can be addressed during a spiritual direction session. The goal, though, will always be to discern the nature of the presence or movement of God in that experience, relational issue or circumstance.
Some directees come to a session with open hearts and open hands, just beginning somewhere as they check in with their director, and then seeing where God might lead them during the spiritual conversation. There is no “right” way to do this. Spiritual direction is very personal and individual, and it is all about what will best serve the directee on that particular day. A directee may come with a specific agenda on one day, and have no particular agenda the next session. The director’s role is to follow the lead of the directee under the guidance of God’s movement in any session.
What is the commitment of a directee to the process?
A directee will commit himself or herself to prayer between sessions in whatever way he or she best connects and communicates with God. The directee will have to believe that God is present in all aspects of life, because the goal of direction is to discern how God is present and what God’s presence and movement in life means for the directee. The directee needs to be committed to the idea that God is a God of love and is active in all of life to bring about good and loving ends in a person’s life.
How often do directees meet with their directors?
It is typical for directees to meet once a month on a regular basis with their director. There is no consideration for an end or typical duration to meet with a spiritual director. Spiritual direction is about a life long journey of exploration of one’s relationship with God. Therefore, the direction relationship is an ongoing expanding of awareness regarding one’s intimate relationship with their loving God, throughout their lifetime.
Is there a fee for the sessions?
Spiritual directors differ in what they charge for direction sessions. If you receive direction through With You Ministries, you will be asked to give on a sliding scale. With You Ministries asks directees for a donation of $50 to $95 per session, according both to what you can afford and how deeply you are helped in direction. Evangelical Covenant Pastors, staff, spouses, missionaries and other Covenant affiliated Christian leaders should talk with Pastor Eisenman about special arrangements. Grants for spiritual direction are also available to ordained or commissioned Covenant ministers through the Sustaining Pastoral Excellence program in the Covenant Church.
Spiritual Direction Ministry Endorsements, Pastor Tom Eisenman
James Osterhaus, PhD: Tom Eisenman has been a friend and colleague in ministry for nearly 25 years. His ministry of spiritual direction and formation is ideally suited to his personality and giftedness. He is a man who combines gentleness and compassion with firmness and keen insight into spiritual, as well as emotional and relational needs. I recommend him to those in ministry, those who contemplate ministry, and to ministry families. Dr. James Osterhaus, Author, Speaker, Senior Partner with TAG Consulting, and Internationally Recognized Expert in Communication, Conflict Management, and Organizational Dynamics of Faith Based Institutions
Matthew B. Hunt, PhD: I am fortunate to have been meeting with Tom Eisenman for spiritual direction over the last two and a half years. Tom is quite uniquely gifted in spiritual direction. He has been trained and certified in directing; and he actively participates in the practice, not only as a director but as a directee; he also meets on a regular basis with other practitioners in spiritual direction.
His currency is exceptional, but what makes Tom so different is the wonderful fusion of traits and training, experiences and knowledge, gifts and insights, that he carries with him into an encounter with another seeker. Sometimes it is Tom’s pastoral experience or training; sometimes, it is his wide range of reading; sometimes, it is his artistic side as a musician and writer; sometimes, it is his insights as a father and husband; it can even sometimes be his recollections from his days before knowing Christ; whatever perspective he brings, his sensitivity to the Spirit of God is unwavering.
Tom is blessed with a tender heart and a lifetime of keen observations to draw upon. So equipped, he comes to our meetings with an open mind; it is always clear to me that Tom’s priority is that God’s Spirit holds the reigns: the focus is always my continual growing awareness of the Lord in my life, and I am very often blessed by Tom’s gentle nudges to recognize God’s touch in my life. I often come away from our meetings feeling as though I am fitted with a new pair of glasses through which I will more clearly perceive the spiritual dimension in every aspect of my life. Matthew B. Hunt, Ph.D. Professor of English, Saddleback College, Mission Viejo, California
Susan Johnson, Executive Minister: I strongly recommend Tom as a spiritual director. He embodies the characteristics that make for a strong spiritual companion: deep understanding and familiarity with the scriptures, years of experience as a pastor in leading people to deepen their relationship with the Triune God, and sensitivity to the realities, complexities and mysteries present as we "work out our salvation." Tom is a gentle and patient guide. For me, Tom's gentle manner and personality is a great antidote to the sometimes pressured environment of church administration and the pace of my over-scheduled life. During our time together, I am struck by his attention to what is both seen and what is unseen, particularly his ability to listen to the Spirit while listening to me convey my thoughts. I personally enjoy spending time in quiet before the Lord, which Tom is willing to do with me, so that we are listening for the Lord together. I have also been blessed by his years of experience as a pastor and church leader; he intuitively "gets" church life and all the blessings and challenges it presents—I don't need to explain every nuance to him. If you are considering being in spiritual direction, or having a spiritual companion to join you in your journey of being transformed by the Father into the likeness of Christ, I highly recommend Tom Eisenman to you. Susan Johnson, Director of Ministry Services, Rolling Hills Covenant Church
Tic Long, Executive Pastor: So many times in ministry we are the ones listening to people, the ones moving from one thing to the next, finding ourselves focusing on others and not paying enough attention to our own souls, or at least that is what I do . I have found the Spiritual Direction process to be an Oasis. Tom Eisenman helped me go to a place of listening more intently to God than to the other voices, other people’s issues and needs. He was the one who listened deeply to me with no agenda other than my own spiritual health. His invitation to go ahead and be more selfish and talk about my life was so healing. He helped me be still and know…so many things. Tom became a spiritual friend to me who cared for me—the person—and did not want anything from me. He helped me to clarify and see more clearly the deeper moves of God in my life. What a gift! I think many of us in ministry need this gift more than we realize. Tic Long, Executive Director of Youth Specialties, and Executive Pastor of Journey Community Church, San Diego
Rev. Scott Buetzow, Covenant Pastor: One of the best gifts I can give my church is making sure I'm healthy as a pastor. Spiritual direction has been absolutely essential in my own vitality as I lead, teach, shepherd and care for those that God has in my care. As selfish as this may sound, I'm there simply for me - to be ministered to, to be invested in, to be poured into, and to be cared for. It often serves as a great barometer of the overall health of my heart and balance of my life.
Unless you're seriously overflowing and overwhelmed with the amount of supportive relationships around you, you need to do this. It’s a gift - you and those you pour your life into deserve it.
I tell my wife and staff that Tom Eisenman is "my own personal monk." He's a man who walks close with Jesus, he's a gifted listener, and has an incredible ability to speak from a place not ahead or behind me, but beside me. Somehow in the midst of the insane external chaos of ministry and the internal tapes that play in my head and heart—much like a tour guide—he gently points out where God is sprouting up in places, doing stuff and on the move right under my nose where I would have otherwise missed it. My spirit wants to jump in his lap (and at times, my whole body!) every time we're together because he oozes warmth, wisdom, humility and grace. Rev. Scott Buetzow, Associate Pastor, Community Covenant church, Rocklin, CA
